FF8 DGO
by Sarinia Trepe
Summary: Rated R for naughty language. Just some floppishness I cooked up while bored.


A/N:  This idea came to me last night.  I was taking a break from the serious FF8 fic I've been trying for two weeks to write, and sauntered over to Sony Games and played DGO.  This is cheesy and I am wholly unapologetic.  

DISCLAIMER:  I own nothing!  

***ROOM 12  WAITING FOR PLAYERS...***

***BadAssBlondie  as CHOOSER***

***LadyKiller   as CONTESTANT #1***

***HottDawgs    as CONTESTANT #2***

***Hyperion     as CONTESTANT #3***

***START GAME***

BadAssBlondie-  Hey guys!

LadyKiller-  *tips hat* Ma'am...

BadAssBlondie-  So sweeet...

Hyperion-  suck up

HottDawgs-  hey quistis

BadAssBlondie-  Quistis?  Who's Quistis?

HottDawgs-  i just walked by you in the library and saw you

HottDawgs-  setting up your user name

Hyperion-  well this game aint gonna be worth shit

BadAssBlondie-  Hey!  Be nice or I'll boot you.

Hyperion-  go ahead

Hyperion-  ill go find that dollerho chick, she rocks

LadyKiller-  start the game Quisty

***FINISH UP THE CHATTING. QUESTION 1 IS COMING UP!***

HottDawgs-  hot dogs RUUUUULE!!!!!

Hyperion-  'specially puberty boys huh chicken wuss? lol

HottDawgs-  fuck off Almasy

LadyKiller-  y'all need to shut up

Hyperion-  does ur girlfriend know ur on here irvine?

LadyKiller-  uh yeah

Hyperion-  does she know about dollerho?

LadyKiller-  shuddup  heh

Hyperion-  heh

***My favorite form of creative expression is body poetry.  How would you compose the perfect body poem for me?***

LadyKiller-  nasty girl

Hyperion-  *checks library for stick-in-the-ass quistis*  i think someone hit her over

Hyperion-  the head and took over the game  hehe

LadyKiller-  Hey Quisty you remember that scene from 9 1/2 weeks?

BadAssBlondie-  Which one?

HottDawgs-  whats 9 1/2 weeks?

Hyperion-  oh nothin wussy, just a straight movie

HottDawgs-  oh

HottDawgs-  hey!  FUCK YOU!!

LadyKiller-  You remember dont you?  the FOOD part...  *wriggles eyebrows*

HottDawgs-  sorry Quisty i don't do poetry

Hyperion-  i dont wanna rape ur virgin ears with my thoughts on this question instructor  *snort*

BadAssBlondie-  Come on, you guys.  This is supposed to be fun!

Hyperion-  if dollerho was here...

BadAssBlondie-  Shut up about Dollerho.  Cheap skank ass.

LadyKiller-  O.o

***LadyKiller gets a heart***

LadyKiller-  muah quisty

BadAssBlondie-  Muah...

Hyperion-  this fucking sucks

BadAssBlondie-  Then leave!

Hyperion-  NO

***FINISH UP THE CHATTING.  QUESTION 2 IS COMING UP!***

LadyKiller-  that's gross, Zell

HottDawgs-  wha

LadyKiller-  i'm sitting a row over from you, you know

HottDawgs-  sorry dude it was itching

***I like adventurous dates.  Where would you take me on our fist date?***

Hyperion-  fisting???  quistis you skank

BadAssBlondie-  FIRST damn it

Hyperion-  maybe you shouldnt make ur own questions

LadyKiller-  i'd take you to amateur night at Kitty's

Hyperion-  is that where selphies workin now?  hehe

HottDawgs-  i'm just gonna watch ok?

BadAssBlondie-  You guys are hopeless.

Hyperion-  u know u love us though

BadAssBlondie-  I guess

Hyperion-  quistis i would take you to my dorm

BadAssBlondie-  Oh that's original, Seifer.

Hyperion-  i have quite the collection of sexual torture devices

BadAssBlondie-  UGH

Hyperion-  wha?  you said you wanted a fisting date

***HottDawgs gets a heart***

BadAssBlondie-  Can we just get hrough this as quickly as possible?

Hyperion-  *loox at what quistis wrote, bites tongue*

LadyKiller-  mmmm rough

***FINISH UP THE CHATTING.  QUESTION 3 IS COMING UP!***

Hyperion-  oh oh oh oh oh  im im im im coming

LadyKiller-  hehe

Hyperion-  chicken wuss i see you staring at me

HottDawgs-  ya right

Hyperion-  merry fairy

LadyKiller-  quistis, what size bra you wear?

Hyperion-  *takes screenshot*

LadyKiller-  what's that for?

Hyperion-  selphie

LadyKiller-  dude...

Hyperion-  rebound sex

LadyKiller-  she wouldn't touch your ass Almasy

***I like threesomes.  You, me, and ?***

LadyKiller-  WHOA

HottDawgs-  holy shit quisty is that you?

BadAssBlondie-  Quistis here... haha

Hyperion-  shes tryin to psyche us out...  heartless whore  hehe

LadyKiller-  well, me, you and Sefie of course

HottDawgs-  can i answer this question?

Hyperion-  *as chickenwuss* you, me and seifer...  oh my

HottDawgs-  you wish freak

Hyperion-  me, quisty and...  uh...  lemme think

LadyKiller-  Xu

Hyperion-  ah fuck yeah!  i loves me some oriental women

BadAssBlondie-  That sounds good.

Hyperion-  *screenshot*

LadyKiller-  can i watch, quisty?

Hyperion-  good licks to be had by all

***Hyperion gets a heart***

Hyperion-  i knew you wanted me

BadAssBlondie-  It was circumstancial, Seifer.

Hyperion-  huh?

LadyKiller-  she means that if i had chosen Xu, she's have picked me dumbass

Hyperion-  ya sure pretty boy

HottDawgs-  hot dogs

Hyperion-  loser

LadyKiller-  virgin

Hyperion-  yes, the noodle has not yet been wetted

BadAssBlondie-  LOL

Hyperion-  you like that quistis?  think sir almasys funny and shexy?

BadAssBlondie-  More like dumb as a pencil eraser.

LadyKiller-  don't deny it quisty

Hyperion-  now back to that threesome...

***FINISH UP THE CHATTING.  QUESTION 4 IS COMING UP!***

LadyKiller-  i wonder what Xu is doing

Hyperion-  shes fixin to get a really informative email hehe

HottDawgs-  xu's pretty hot

LadyKiller-  this is true, my friend

Hyperion-  i bet quistis plays with herself in the tub

LadyKiller-  i think all women do

Hyperion-  scoot up to the faucet and let the water...  hyne yall im getting a 

Hyperion-  dark matter woody over here

***You're making a porn movie with me as the star.  What's it called and what's the plot?***

HottDawgs-  damn quisty

Hyperion-  i think we are finally gettin somewhere boys

LadyKiller-  gang bang

Hyperion-  they already made 'anal bad girls'   *snaps fingers*

LadyKiller-  it would be called Nectar of the Goddess

Hyperion-  mmmmmmm

BadAssBlondie-  MMMMMM

LadyKiller-  a Druid cult that worships a tall, blonde naked goddess and must

LadyKiller-  show their reverance by drinking of the goddess on a daily basis

Hyperion-  that fantasys so cliche

BadAssBlondie-  I like that, Irvine.

LadyKiller-  tell me you wouldn't be her leading man in it, Almasy

Hyperion-  now i didnt say that...

LadyKiller-  Xu would be her lady in waiting  O.o

Hyperion-  id be the guy who gives them baths

LadyKiller-  deep sea research, eh?  hehe

Hyperion-  chickenwuss is over here shittin himself

HottDawgs-  no im not

Hyperion-  im looking right at u numbass

LadyKiller-  Zell would be the village garbage man

BadAssBlondie-  What more could I ask for?  Heehee

Hyperion-  *as quistis* oh seifer...  xu and i are so filthy...

LadyKiller-  *as Quistis*  I command you to give us both a good cock scrubbing!

Hyperion-  yes mistress...

BadAssBlondie-  LMAO

LadyKiller-  i think Quisty's blushing

Hyperion-  where is she sitting

LadyKiller-  over by Nida

Hyperion-  quit tryin to hide quistis...  i can see ur fishtail

***LadyKiller gets a heart***

Hyperion-  gimme some slack quistis

BadAssBlondie-  Why should I?  Your answers suck.

Hyperion-  thats ur fault

LadyKiller-  he's too busy fantasizing

BadAssBlondie-  Nida keeps looking over at me like I'm retarded.

Hyperion-  FLASH HIM

BadAssBlondie-  NO WAY!

LadyKiller-  DO IT

HottDawgs-  DO IT QUISTY

Hyperion-  do it for the team... cmon

BadAssBlondie-  NOOOO

Hyperion-  aww come on...  whos my lil trooper?

BadAssBlondie-  FUCK NO

LadyKiller-  she'd probably ruin his inner child

Hyperion-  *as chickenwuss*  golly gee i wish seifer would flash ME

HottDawgs-  ^

***FINISH UP THE CHATTING.  QUESTION 5 IS COMING UP***

Hyperion-  *as zell* im coming out... i want the world to know...  got to let...

HottDawgs-  fuck you

Hyperion-  it... show...  lol

LadyKiller-  ignore him, Zell

Hyperion-  *as chickenwuss*  i can't irvine...  he invades my every thought

***What color bra am I wearing?  Right answers get a peek after study hall!***

LadyKiller-  trick question, no bra

HottDawgs-  pristine white?

Hyperion-  just a peek at ur bra?  psh  

BadAssBlondie-  I didn't say a peek at my bra...

Hyperion-  *perks up*

LadyKiller-  ooooo

Hyperion-  lemme see...  hey quistis move over and let me see u

BadAssBlondie-  Nope.

Hyperion-  tch...

LadyKiller-  she's fucking around with us anyway

BadAssBlondie-  I promise.

Hyperion-  *thinks hard*

HottDawgs-  *as seifer*  *head explodes*

LadyKiller-  oooo BURN!!!  
  


Hyperion-  quistis my dear, you are wearing a black velvet demi bra

BadAssBlondie-  OMH...!!!

LadyKiller-  how'd you guess?

Hyperion-  elementary dear kinneas

LadyKiller-  in other words, you've raided her undie drawer

Hyperion-  nope...  ill never tell

BadAssBlondie-  Seifer!  You've been through my clothes!

Hyperion-  oh yeah quistis i snuck into your dorm one night and rifled through

Hyperion- your undie drawer...  im not that hard up

LadyKiller-  yeah you are

Hyperion-  at any rate, quistis owes me a peek, right quisty wisty?

BadAssBlondie-  I'm a woman of my word.

Hyperion-  damn skippy

HottDawgs-  just kick his ass quisty

Hyperion- hey quistis, make sure ur nipples are hard for me

LadyKiller-  woohoo

***FINISH UP THE CHATTING.  QUESTION 6 IS COMING UP!***

Hyperion-  hey quistis, is there any way i could win a teensy grope?

LadyKiller-  oh yeah Seifer, you don't sound hard up at all

Hyperion-  like u never fantasized about one of your teachers

LadyKiller-  well...

Hyperion-  hey dont i get a heart?

HottDawgs-  you just won a peek at quistis's tits and you're bitching about

HottDawgs-  a heart?  lameass

***I like role-playing.  Gimme a scenario I can dig.***

LadyKiller-  besides the goddess thing?  damn you're a greedy lil girl

Hyperion-  how bout this...  ur a bitchy teacher and im the student you failed

LadyKiller-  harsh...

Hyperion-  im gonna get my revenge by bending u over ur desk

LadyKiller-  w00t w00t

Hyperion-  and when im done rippin up ur tight lil puss with my thick cock...

HottDawgs-  *covers eyes*

Hyperion-  ill make you suck ur juices off of it...  how bout that puddy tat?

LadyKiller-  let 'er rip tater chip

Hyperion-  helllooo?  quistis honey?

LadyKiller-  lmao she's staring blankly at the monitor

***Hyperion gets a heart***

Hyperion-  HOT damn i knew it

LadyKiller-  roflmao

Hyperion-  thank you quisty...

LadyKiller-  still roflmao

HottDawgs-  you guys suck...  bunch of fucking pervets

LadyKiller-  pervets?  hey almasy we're pervets... damned animal molesters

Hyperion-  LOL

BadAssBlondie-  Sorry, Zell.

HottDawgs-  huh?

***HottDawgs is being booted.***

LadyKiller-  it's for your own good, man

HottDawgs-  this is horse puckey

Hyperion-  mwahahahaha

***HottDawgs is booted.***

Hyperion-  ya know, its a lot nicer in here w/out him staring at my ass

LadyKiller-  so uh, quistis...  now that it's just us grown ups...

BadAssBlondie-  LMAO  Irvine, did you see that?

LadyKiller-  lmfao  YEP

Hyperion-  see what?

BadAssBlondie-  Nida got up and dropped something behind me, so I turned my 

BadAssBlondie-  head to see what it was, and I headbutted him in the crotch.

Hyperion-  lmao!  brava!

LadyKiller-  damn he scooted on out of here didn't he?

BadAssBlondie-  Poor kid...  He left his pencil on the floor.

Hyperion-  why doncha take it to him quisty?

LadyKiller-  in nothing but a thong

***FINISH UP THE CHATTING.  QUESTION 7 IS COMING UP!***

Hyperion-  is this almost over?  

LadyKiller-  one more question

Hyperion-  good...  we need to go *clean* quisty's desk off

LadyKiller-  can i capture the event on video for posterity?

Hyperion-  selphie get off on watching other people?

LadyKiller-  yeah

Hyperion-  u know, i figured her for the type

LadyKiller-  lol she's fucking crazy as hell man

Hyperion-  why

LadyKiller-  we were out in the secret area one night and there was this coup

LadyKiller-  couple who were getting really hot and heavy, like playing

LadyKiller-  with each other, and she went over and asked them if she could

LadyKiller-  sit down next to them and watch

Hyperion-  w00t

LadyKiller-  i was like, hynedamn selphie

BadAssBlondie-  Guys, I can't think of a good final question.

Hyperion-  why does it matter?  im gonna win

LadyKiller-  because...

Hyperion-  ill ask a question...  'how many times is master seifer gonna 

Hyperion-  make me orgasm tonight?'

LadyKiller-  *snort*  you know she's just stalling

Hyperion-  quistis?

BadAssBlondie-  Yes?

Hyperion-  ur not stallin are ya?

BadAssBlondie-  No...  I seriously can't think of a question.

Hyperion-  whaddya say we blow off this dumb shit and head for class?  *wink*

***"A secret murder hath been done of late..."* **

LadyKiller-  what the

Hyperion-  damn i know this one too

BadAssBlondie-  Riiiight...

Hyperion-  okay...  its a poem...

BadAssBlondie-  *nods*

LadyKiller-  Quisty you're evil

Hyperion-  how bout we make it worth my while

LadyKiller-  personally i don't care who wins.  i've already got warm apple

LadyKiller-  pie waiting on me

Hyperion-  ive always got dollerho

BadAssBlondie-  *chokes Seifer*

Hyperion-  GAH!

BadAssBlondie-  Dollerho is some thirteen year-old sexually confused boy.

Hyperion-  *frowns*  gimme a minute

LadyKiller-  we're in the *library* Seifer,  go look it up

BadAssBlondie-  NO!

LadyKiller-  i'll cover for ya

Hyperion-  *snaps fingers*  "unkindness found to be the bloody knife"  HA!

LadyKiller-  *applause*

BadAssBlondie-  Seifer?

Hyperion-  *bows*  yes my dear  *bows*

BadAssBlondie-  How did you know that?

Hyperion-  nida told me

BadAssBlondie-  Huh?

LadyKiller-  LMFAO

BadAssBlondie-  WHAT!?

LadyKiller-  nida went and sat over by seifer  looooooooool

Hyperion-  LMMFAO

***THE CHOOSER HAS LEFT THE ROOM.  YOU WILL BE RETURNED TO THE LOBBY***

Hyperion-  do i still get my peek?

LadyKiller-  i wouldn't hold my breath...  whatcha know, Nida?

Hyperion-  hes laughin his ass off over here  hehe

LadyKiller-  i think quistis enjoyed herself

Hyperion- whats she doing

***LadyKiller leaves***

Hyperion-  well shit


End file.
